Wanted to Share Something We Sent From the Asylum Haunted Scream Park to Our Huge Cast

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Announcement

Hello dear people of Asylum. Valued citizens, mutants, and monsters. President Evil Bunny here addressing you from the haunted mansion with an important announcement to discuss with you the fucking apocalypse that is happening.

The people of Asylum happen to have exceptional knowledge and experience with apocalypses and the like. It has been advised to stock up on cat squeezins and vagisil as it can kill anything. Also people jerky, I have heard chewing tongues are especially long lasting.

On a serious note though -

It's all gonna be ok. I don't think there's any reason to freak out, but I do think it's smart to be prepared and follow the advice of the CDC.

There is a lot of craziness surrounding what's going on and it can be hard to know exactly what's going on, but personally I think it's safe to take information coming from the CDC seriously. They're not trying to get ratings, they're trying to save lives, and cure zombies.

The deadliness of the coronapocalypse might be over-hyped, but also they really don't fucking know. A dog and a wolf can look the same from a distance, but you might not know until it bites you in the ass. A lot of you young whipper snappers will be just fine, won't even know it, but there is a possibility that it could be bad for people who already have health issues or some of us older folks, like your parents. So if you're like fuck you I'm gonna drink the corona with lime and go wild licking door knobs, you might be ok, but people you love might not be ok. Even if you're not concerned about yourself, because you'll probably be fine, follow the CDC recommendations for the love of your friends and family.

The other part of the big deal is that this has been declared a pandemic. The infection rates are going viral like a naked cat twerking video. The problem with that is if everyone gets sick at the same time the healthcare system might not be able to keep up. So the cancellations and social isolation and wash your fucking hands you dirty bastard is all because if we can slow the infection rate it won't be as big of a hit to the healthcare system so people who really need medical care can get it. There will still also be regular sick people at the same time there will be covid infected zambies everywhere.

So have fun enjoying the apocalypse! I'm not being sarcastic, I mean it. Now is the time to have fun testing out your gas masks and practicing survival tactics and crafting supplies and making home-made plague killing soaps. You can make it fun. And you actually have a real excuse to hide at home and play video games!

This might not be a deadly plague, but if the rest of the world is acting like it's the apocalypse it might be a good idea to get some beans and lay low for a while just to be safe. Because even if the virus isn't that scary, crazy people can be.

Going to kroger is kinda like the hunger games lately, there's no need to go crazy, but next time you go shopping it might be good to get some extra stuff. Just to limit your need to go out, or because other people are going crazy and items are unavailable. I usually do that when I go shopping anyway because I am a homicidal hermit. Beans and rice and beef jerky and canned veggies. Might be good to just have some extra pantry-stable stuff on hand. Canned goods last a long time and if you don't end up using them you can always donate them to a good cause later. Don't go crazy hording shit, we all need toilet paper too god damn it, but it might be smart to have some things you need at home.

It is also currently cold and flu season and allergies are coming into full bloom, so people gonna be like OMG I got the coronaberculousis! But from what I have researched the symptoms are very specific; constant high fever, dry cough, difficulty breathing. The sneezy, stuffy, sniffly, itchy, probably isn't corona. But again, I don't know if anyone really knows, you might get it and not know. So for the love of your grandmother's cookies whatever kinda sick you are, just stay home.

Because the primary symptoms are Fever, Cough, Difficulty Breathing, you might wanna get a fever reducer (a bottle of Ibuprofen or Tylenol), and something for cough and chest congestion like (Mucinex or NyQuil). I think that'd probably be good basics to have for home care if you end up sick with symptoms, and of course if it does get worse get real medical care. A lot of people might not have any symptoms at all, but those are probably things that would be good to have just incase and because you're all clumsy ass haunters that lick door knobs you should have those things at home anyway.

But I don't really know, I'm just going by knowledge of the Pandora Virus we've dealt with for years. So for real info just try to stay updated from sources like the CDC.

And if you guys are holed up at home we can all still communicate via phones and internet, so you're really never alone. We're all here for each other, even if we have to keep physical distance.

I love you guys sooooo much!!!!!!

Even if you all turn into corona zambies I will still love you 💚🧟‍♂️🧟‍♀️💚

Stay safe. Don't lick door knobs.

Wash your fucking hands.

Happy Apocalypse!

Happy Friday the 13th! 💀

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